The Ice Man Cometh

To: All personel
Fr:  FFPM Kevin Dufus

Subject:: Missing Shirt

While working at Sta. #221 on Wednesday, I may have left my shirt in the day room. I cannot find it. If anyone has knowledge of it's location please let me know. Thank You.



Reply: Did you check the freezer?

Reply: I thought I saw it up the flagpole when I went off duty on Fri. Hope this helps.

Reply: There was some homeless guy standing on the corner of Haines and Sullenburger, I thought he was wearing one of our shirts. Maybe it was yours.




I ran into Dufus the other day at the Fill the Boot Meeting. I asked him if he found his shirt. He shook his head no and said that it was probably gone for good. I asked him if he got my smart - assed reply (the freezer one) and he said that mine was one of many smart - ass replies that he had received, including those above. He must have been pretty desperate to publish that memo, usually you try to keep stuff like this on the down-low.



The time honored tradition of freezing someones uniform shirt is alive and well in our agency. It is only done when someone makes a habit of leaving their shirt laying around the station after they go off duty. To do it properly is an art form; when improperly done it reeks of hackiness.


The shirt must be properly folded, with the vertical fold just outside the outboard edge of the badge and just outboard of the name tag. This allows both to be visible within the ice block while still in the cake pan. The transverse fold needs to be done so that the shirts fits into the cake pan with minimal space between the shirt and the sides. The collar must be properly formed so that the collar brass is properly displayed.

The cake pan must be large enough that the properly folded shirt will fit inside without the shirt touching the sides and deep enough that the shirt will be completely covered in water when the pan is filled. 


If you are going to freeze someones shirt, make sure sufficient time is available for the ice block to completely form before it is discovered. Pens are never removed from the pocket, even expensive ones. Some make it, some don't.


Pockets should be checked for cell phones and calculators, those come out - money stays in.


Most people learn after getting their shirt frozen to keep track of it. It rarely happens twice to the same person. 

The practice of hanging someones clothing or gear up on the flagpole is not as popular as it once was. A citizens complaint kind of put the damper on that.


I must also add that Captains rarely get their shirts frozen. First off, they know better than to leave stuff laying around. Second, old guys are very mean and treacherous. The payback will likely be too severe.


Thanks for reading,


Schmoe

Updates

Just a few notes updating some of the things I have written about in the past few months. Updates are in random order, with no relevance as to importance or occurance.

* Some of you may remember #2 son's four wheeler crash back on July 4th. Independence Day  We now refer to this event as the Disasta in Nebraska. He broke his tibia and spent the rest of the summer in a cast. He got the cast off last month, then went in for an MRI on his knee, as it was "not feeling right". The results are in and he has a torn posterior cruciate ligament. He gets a dead guy's ligament put in next month. Needless to say, he is less than thrilled. Looks like crutches for six more weeks.

This was taken on the way home from the Disasta in Nebraska. Heal fast liile buddy.

* Fill the boot update - Had a little lunch meeting today with the MDA, a local business association and representatives from our association. It turns out we raised over twenty thousand dollars. Not bad for two days of "fill the boot".

The meeting was held at a local pub that one of our members has an association with. The MDA people were good, they just had lunch. Some of the business people enjoyed a brew or two. I left after three hours and left several of my brothers there. They may still be there.

* Update on "The Fall" - Tough as that old guy is, he is fighting the "Big Casino" and sadly, is not winning. The Saint I am Married To called me at work last weekend and said I had better come home. My father in law is mostly unconscious, isn't eating or drinking and is not lucid when he is awake. Hospice is doing their thing everything is a mess. Me and the boys are "Home Alone" as my wife is staying at her dads.

Do to the upheaval in my life right now, my posts are not going to be the in depth, thought provoking material that you are worthy of. Bear with me.

As always, thanks for reading.

Schmoe

Fill The Boot

Have you ever been stopped at a red light and noticed a bunch of firefighters standing at the intersection with an empty boot in one hand? Quite often its the local firefighters raising money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. This is the same charity that the Jerry Lewis telethon raises money for. Throughout the year, Firefighters Association have a "Fill the Boot" drive to raise funds for the MDA. Firefighters have raised 275 million dollars since 1954 for this worthy cause.

The K.B.F.P.D. had our "Fill the Boot" drive a few weeks ago. We are lucky at the K.B.F.P.D. in that our administration supports our efforts and allows some of to do this on duty, as long as we stay in an "available" status. Schmoe happened to be on duty during our drive, so we took the rig down to a local stoplight and went to work. As I have a tendency to terrify small children, I thought my efforts might be better spent documenting our actions.

Some guys really don't like standing on the corner asking for money, even if it is for a good cause. I don't mind, I kind of view it as training. Some day, the Saint That I Am Married To might wise up and throw me out. Then, being homeless, I will be forced to stand on the corner and ask for money. Practice like you play, that what I always say.

One of my knucklehead buddies saw me lurking with my camera. He thought he was being funny by pretending to lift his leg and pee on the hydrant. Little did he know that his image would be presented to millions of Report-On-Conditions readers.

I haven't heard the district wide total, but I am sure it was a significant amount. We didn't get to spend as much time on this as I would have liked, we ended up running a few calls in the time we were supposed to be there. Fortunately, there were quite a few off-duty guys there, so the fund raising continued.

I thought I would throw in a pic that Fredo snapped today while we were on a trailer fire. We got it knocked down pretty quick, but there was extensive overhaul as the trailer was full of wood chips and other hogged material.

We ended up using almost two tanks of water and had to call out public works to clean up the mess. You can see the back of my helmet in the lower right corner of the picture. My crew doesn't let me touch the nozzle any more. Something about Captains aren't supposed to have any fun.

I felt kind of bad for the trailer owner, he runs a small business doing vacant house clean-ups. It's going to cost him a few bucks to get his trailer roadworthy again, plus a few days of missed work. He was smart enough to unhitch his truck before the fire got going really good. Otherwise he would be out a truck as well.

Its been a long shift and I am done.

Thanks for reading,

Schmoe