Thieving Bastiches

I noticed one was missing last Friday. I assumed somebody had just kicked it off and then kicked it away where I couldn't see it. I made a mental note to replace it, either on Saturday morning or Sunday, when it was nice and cool.

Saturday morning, I went out to get the paper and discovered that the loss was not an accident, but was an exploratory strike before an all out assault.

The thieving bastiches stole a bunch of my sprinkler heads!

 They were the old timey Champion Brass ones, like the ones your pop put in his yard back in the '60s. The original owner of my house had installed them back in 1972 when my house was built.

Not very water-wise and rather antiquated, they had been keeping my front yard green for at least forty years. A few had been replaced, usually due to kids or edger-sprinkler contact, but most were period correct.

And now they are gone, most likely destined to a date with the metal recycler. Some  douchebag decided he needed booze or drugs more than I needed a green lawn.

It isn't the money really. It's just that some thieving bastich had the balls to walk into my front yard and kype them. I could have replaced them all for about 60 bucks. That, however, would have been a lesson in futility. They would have been gone again inside a week. Ruth, the neighbor lady on the next block, has replaced hers three times. I question her trainability. Instead, I opted for the cheapo plastic facsimiles which cost me $24 and have absolutely no scrap value.

I view the event as a temporary fix. I really need to redesign my irrigation system and install one more efficient and less wasteful. That is a bigger endeavor than I want to take on right now.  When I do get around to redoing my syatem, you can be assured that you will know about it. The net is a great place to spread whining and gnashing of teeth.

Thanks for reading,

Schmoe