Sunday, November 4, 2012

So Long Suckah...

...It's been good to know ya!

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Oh! Dear Blackberry, how you have disappointed me. At first you were grand, allowing me the pleasure of organizing my harried life on your soul of silicon. The simple joy of accessing the web from the palm of my hand was nearly too much to bear. The games were marvelous and the applications were spiffy too!

Alas, as time wore on, my infatuation with you waned as you failed to evolve and keep up with your upstart peers. Each software update proved to be a bigger disappointment, your commands and interface becoming less natural in feel until I felt completely isolated and digitally alone. You became boring and mundane and you wouldn't change, not even for me.

Fortunately, I have found something to replace you. Something more fun, more exotic and yes, even more beautiful. She fits my hand and sees to my every digital need. She makes me feel connected again.  She is so useful, her apps are fun and she has so much more to offer.

Fare the well my former friend. For you, the end will be quick - it will only ache for a moment then shattered glass, splattered silicon and a black screen.


For you Blackberry users who are thinking of making a change, go ahead and dump it, it's a turd . You will realize it when you start using your new I-Phone 5 or Galaxy S-3. Don't shoot your old phone in the back yard though, the neighbors might complain.

Thanks for reading,


The Fine Print
No electronic devices were harmed in the making of this blog post, nor were any laws violated, neighbors angered or dogs frightened. Do not try this at home, photo was taken on a closed course by a highly trained professional.  Author apologizes to Corey for the hole in his fence, wall and refrigerator. Honest, I thought it was loaded with snake-shot.

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