Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Five Stages of Not Having to Cope With After Midnight Calls

Before going any further, read The Five Stages of Coping With After Midnight Calls. My apologies to Lt. Morse, Providence F.D, Rescue #1.

The Five Stages of Not Having to Cope With After Midnight Calls

"Attention Squad 212, request for medical aid at the homeless shelter, 21178 Yeager Rd. for a reported tooth-ache. Time out 02:30"

Stage #1 - Denial

The truck company captain can't believe the squad is getting up for yet another B.S. call in the middle of the night.

Stage #2 - Anger

The truck company captain is pissed - the squadies laid on the siren as they left the station, prolonging his period of sleeplessness by another 30 seconds.

Stage #3 - Resentment

"What is it with those squadies? Not only have they been using too much siren when they leave the station at night, but they have been kind of noisy when they come home. I might have to find a 'special' detail for them to do next shift"

Stage #4 - Acceptance

"What am I so pissed off about, I am only awake for 45 seconds or so 4 times a night. I'll just do the 'truckies roll' and go back to sleep".

Stage #5 - Closure

The wake-up bell does it's job and gets the truck company captain out of his rack. He scratches himself as he walks to the kitchen, clad only in his chonies and a Disneyland Fire Dept. T-Shirt. He gets his cup and heads to the Bunn-O-Matic. He stands behind the squad medic, who is making another pot of coffee. He feels pretty good and feels compelled to tell the squad medic that "last night wasn't too bad" and that he "feels pretty good".

The squad medic is making the second pot of coffee, the first being consumed by he and his partner some time after picking up the dentally-challenged tweaker at the shelter and before picking up "Pissy Pete" from behind O'Malleys.

The It takes every bit of self-control that the medic has, not to throw the fresh pot of coffee on the truck company captain.

Thanks for reading,


  1. Good rebuttle Capt. Personally, I wanted to throw water on the engine guys who got to sleep all the time. lol

  2. Now that was funny! My favorite is going out at around midnight, getting back at around 0630 after five or six calls and having one of you "truckies" say, "you guys had a quiet night huh, never heard you go out once!"

  3. Dear Captain Schmoe,
    That sense of entitlement just rears its head no matter.

    Ann T.