Wednesday, April 14, 2010

On the Hook

This post is rated PG13. It contains language that some people might find offensive. Parental discretion is advised.

The engine pulled out from the curb and rolled down the quiet residential street as the captain switched the radio over to the command channel and cleared the call. He adjusted the volume down, as it did now did not have to overcome the wail of the siren.

"You know Cap, those guys on that county squad were sure polite" the voice over the headset  said, "They must have gotten the word about how you attacked their buddies on A shift."

The captain couldn't believe what he had just heard.. "Me, are you kidding? You were the one who got into it with that asshole, if anything, they should be afraid of you".

"Did you hear the way they kissed the captains ass?" Piped the usually quiet firefighter. "It was sickening. Yes sir, no sir, of course sir. Sheesh."

"Their medic told me that everybody is talking about you captain",  the medic said. "They're saying you caused problems for that guy and how he hasn't worked since. They are thinking you got him suspended."

"Hold on" the captain screeched " They're saying I got that knucklehead suspended? Me? all I did was diffuse the situation and now I am the bad guy? That's bullshit!"

The comments now began flying over the intercom. "Oh yeah, Rock went to a PALS class and one of the county guys said that the medic was suspended and the other guy got transferred out to another battalion."

"My wife talked to that female firefighter from county 12's at the gym the other day. She said that they all think you are out of control."

"No wonder they were so polite - it was out of fear"

The captain tolerated it for about thirty seconds, then had enough. "Hold it! hold it!. Pull this goddam engine over! Pull it over! This is effing bullshit! I don't know what the hell those assholes are spreading around, but goddam it, all I said was "that's enough!" He started it, you called him on it, I fucking squelched it and now this? I can't believe it!"

The engineer obediently pulled the engine over , set the brake and expectantly looked over the doghouse at the captain.

The captain was really warmed up now. The rant continued for another 30 seconds, the language became more profane and more impassioned. It was an odd sound that mad him look into the back of the cab. There, he saw the medic and the firefighter laughing their asses off.

It was then that Captain Joseph R. Schmoe, from the Kinda Big Fire Protection District, knew that he had been HAD!

I usually pick up on these things pretty early, but this time the planets were aligned, the right buttons were pressed at exactly the right time, they hooked me up and they reeled me in. We all had a good laugh over it, it was a good way to close out the cycle. It was good we could finally laugh at this thing, even if it was at my expense.

I'll get them back. Sooner or later.

Thanks for reading,


  1. LOL!!! got to love when the boys start pulling your leg. but like you said before atleast it means they still like you! (even after all these years!!)


  2. Dear Captain Schmoe,
    ROFL! I hope you do get them back!
    I hope you tell us, too . . .
    Ann T.

  3. Perfect.... reminded me of a story of when we got the Captain with a crank phone call, he about had a heart attack. I'll add that story to the list of planned posts.

    Thanks for the laugh, Capt, and I'm glad you took it so well. Being owned can be pretty amusing, and so much more and healthier when you can laugh at yourself along with them.

  4. Oh I am so waiting for the payback post!