Thursday, April 29, 2010

Heard At The Kitchen Table

"I've got court today," Davidson complained. "My ex is trying to strangle me. Eight years of my life - putting up with the spending, the anger, the drama, the chronic unemployment. Now, I gotta buy back half the house - which I paid for thank you very damn much plus I gotta pay off all of the credit card debt and I gotta pay three grand a month spousal support.. It's just not right. And, to top it off, my attorney says that I will probably have to pay both sides of the attorney fees. What kind of crap is that?"

Everyone at the table had heard tales similar to this before, a few had actually lived through it. There was some empathy present at the table.

"Why should I have to pay for that lazy-ass to goof off all day? I know whats going to happen, I'm sure plans are being made to hook up with someone who's got a little cash - then they'll move in together. It will be weekends at the river for them - overtime for me. I'm just glad we didn't have kids together."

"You had it coming Davidson" someone at the table quipped. "That's what you get for for marrying someone based on looks alone. You knew that was trouble when you walked down the aisle".

"I knooow" Davidson groaned. "But he was just so freaking hot! Plus, he had a job back then."

Although we all had heard numerous tales similar to this before, we had never heard it coming from the mouth of a female fire captain.

The times, they are a changin'

Thanks for reading.


  1. Ouch, Ouch, ouch.
    If I ever get ordered to pay out spousal support you will hear obscenities being screamed that will reach all the way out to the left coast. Maybe Davidson will howl along with me.

  2. "Although we all had heard numerous tales similar to this before, we had never heard it coming from the mouth of a female fire captain."

    Now she knows what it's like to be a man. Welcome to equality.

  3. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Tell her I feel for her.

  4. Spousal support sucks for male or female! To me it means one of them was a slug!

  5. Didn't see that ending coming. Have heard lots of divorce horror stories around the table though...

  6. There is a tinge of irony in Davidson's plight, I still feel for her though. Maybe she will pick better next time, maybe not.

  7. Picking on hot-ness: Generally not a good idea. Many of the hot are so stuck on themselves, they make terrible spouses, IMHO.