Madam

Madam,
I cannot know what happened before we got here or the circumstances that led up to our being called. I can, however, assure you that your father is not suffering a stroke, though if his blood pressure is not controlled soon, there is a high likelihood of one occurring.

I can also tell you that your shouting at your father, your shouting at us and your hostile attitude is doing nothing to help his situation. In fact, it is detrimental to his condition.  Your actions have already caused me to question your credibility and your ability to care for your father.

You claim that you were assaulted by your nephew and by your father, events which may or may not have occurred. Your recanting of your nephew's involvement and the fact that your father is quite frail and needs a walker to get around further decays your credibility. Regardless, your claims mandate sheriff involvement, involvement which I am more than happy to initiate.

You stated that you do not need our "attitude". Sister, let me clearly state that we have had quite enough of yours. Frankly, we are amazed at what a bitch you seem to be. I am sure that you spread joy and love throughout your family, yet I wonder how many members of your family are looking for a bridge to jump off of when thanksgiving dinner rolls around and they find out you will be there.

My inner evil twin was wondering which buttons of yours I could push to send you over the edge and take a swing at me. Then, I would have had the pleasure of restraining you and seeing you taken into custody. Somehow, I don't believe it would have taken more than a few buttons being lightly pressed.

Luckily for you, I have a great deal of self control, a trait which you apparently do not posses. As such, I suppressed my inner evil twin and you were dealt with in a mostly professional manner.

The guys on the other shift remember you from another call at your house. Not surprisingly, their impression of you was very similar to mine. I am sure we will meet again, hopefully your behavior will be better and we can focus on the task at hand.

Until then,. please see your doctor about getting your medication adjusted. I firmly believe that we will all be better off as a result.

********

Thanks for suffering through yet another rant,
Schmoe