Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Santa Dog finds a home.

Santa-Dog has been traveling around the offices at my day-off job for several years. I don't even know where he came from, other than one of our interns showed up with him one Christmas and never took him home.
Santa Dog has appeared on various desks and in several different offices. He is universally despised and it is a testament to our laziness that he has not been tossed into the dumpster.  You see, it has always been easier to put him on someone elses desk, than to dispose of him properly.

Not the real Santa Dog. The real Santa Dog is far more ugly and cheesy. Image kyped off of the internet.

Santa Dog is dusty and rather worn from all of the handling that he has received. He was ugly to begin with and time has not done him any favors. The good news is that his traveling days may be over.

As today was my last day at this particular job, I was cleaning out my desk. Santa Dog was sitting on the corner of my desk, in the very place that I had removed him from just last week. I thought about taking him to the dumpster along with the tons of crap I was tossing out. As much as I hate the stupid thing, I just couldn't do it.

Instead of tossing it out, I did what any compassionate fire service professional would do. I found him a permanent home.

I used three wood screws and affixed him to the desk of one of my co-workers. Epoxy may have been involved and. the heads of the screws were then drilled out to prevent them from being removed.  Santa Dog is not coming off of that desk without a fight. Every time my former co-worker looks at that statue affixed to his desk,(or the three holes in the corner of his desk-top)  he will think of me.

Merry belated Christmas Ted.

There is a slim chance that Santa Dog may re- enter my life. Ted may find his way out to the K.B.F.P.D. and bring Santa Dog with him. If he does, Santa Dog will likely stay. It is kind of a long drive for Ted, at least 90 minutes or so,  as such Santa Dog may stay where he is. If he does come back to me, you can be sure he will be attached with more than just wood screws and epoxy. That's how we roll.

Thanks for reading,


  1. Dear Captain Schmoe,
    Wow, sounds like parting has been a Huge Sorrow.

    i have some friends who every year throw a party at Epiphany including a gift draw. Everyone brings the yuckiest thing they got that Christmas, re-wrapped, and then they get to draw a number for choosing a likely box.

    I was the fortunate recipient of two iron-framed, sequin-studded reindeer this Epiphany. I contributed a set of black pottery cups clearly made by an amateur and decorated with one red spot each.

    The Bling-deer went South, not north . . .

    Ann T.

  2. As you would say Capt...strong work.

    Well done. lol

  3. Captain,

    It's so grotesque, I love it. And the relocation method of your Santa Dog is priceless. It's amazing how some office junk gets such sentimental value.

    We had a White Elephant Gift party this Christmas along the same lines of Ann T.'s. One of our shift lieutenant's got a used (but clean) spittoon I had, and I got a key rack that belongs in a Maine beachouse that hangs at The Quiet Station.


  4. Capt. Schmoe:

    Wouldn't he come with a desk attached now?

    The Observer, wondering

  5. If Santa Dog does show up, he will likely be missing his feet. If he was screwed to my desk and Ted was the culprit, I would just cut S.D. off at the feet and then ship it to him in a way that cost him time, money or both. COD, counter pick up etc.

    We will just have to wait to see how devious Ted is.

  6. I'm almost sure that Santa Dog is an escapee from my garage. I'm glad that he's firmly affixed to a heavy object now as it makes it less likely that he'll find his way back.