Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Let me just say

"Hey Schmoe, do you now a guy about 6 foot tall, 190 or so, kinda balding with glasses and a mustache? I think he may be an engineer for you guys. He has kind of a bitchy wife and three kids."

Conversations that start with this type of question are usually not inquiries to open a discussion about someone's positive attributes or outstanding behavior. The bitchy wife statement is kind of a negative indicator as well. I usually have only a passing curiosity as to the reason of these inquiries, and lose interest when they degrade into a rant about someone who I only see occasionally or barely know.

If the subject of the inquiry is someone I don't care for, my interest may hold for a little longer, but again if it's not particularly juicy or noteworthy, I'm going to try and change the subject.

As I don't really like these types of conversations and would like to avoid them, let me offer some advice.

Guys, if you're going to pick a fight with your wife, please don't do it in a public place. Especially if you are wearing a Kinda Big Fire Protection District t-shirt. The middle school gymnasium is not the place to passionately discuss controversial family issues, especially when it is filled with off duty cops and firefighters who are trying to watch their kids play the game.

Ladies. This applies to you as well. Please understand that when your husband is wearing that shirt, he represents us, especially in the eyes of all the cops and firefighters that are there. Now is not the time to let the world know how unhappy you are with the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with..

We may not be happy with him either, but we don't need to hear about your his antics from Schultzie over in homicide. In a way, it makes us all look bad.

Thanks for reading,


  1. Well said Schmoe! It happens all to often though.

  2. Dear Captain Schmoe,
    I know this guy. He pops up everywhere and taints everybody.

    If he's in an agency, he taints the agency.
    If in customer service, she blows company rep. If she's a woman, she makes women look unprofessional.
    If he or she is a minority, or a majority for that matter, it just goes to show you what you can expect.

    I just don't know how to get rid of this guy or gal, much less the conclusions we all reach.

    Very thoughtful post. And my first reaction was all-out laughing, too!

    Thanks for writing it down, nothing like clarification!
    Ann T.