Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Tale of Ttwo Customers

Customer #1 - 40 yr.old male who was sole occupant of a red sedan involved in an accident with a cement truck. Minor to moderate visible damage along drivers side of vehicle. No passenger compartment intrusion or deformity to passenger compartment observed, all vehicle glass intact. No front or side airbag deployment noted. Collision appears to be a "sideswipe" type accident at very low speed. Both vehicles found pointed in original direction of travel. Pt. ambulatory and talking on cell phone upon our arrival. Pt. desired transport to "be checked out" as he was feeling "tightening" on his left side. Pt. transported to K.B.R.H. without further incident.

Customer #2 - 75 yr old female found laying on sidewalk in front of jewelry store. Pt. was conscious, oriented and alert. Pt. was being tended to by passer-by who saw pt fall. Pt. said that her "trick knee" gave out, causing her to seat herself on the ground. Pt. was complaining of minor pain to her right knee. Pt. denied neck pain, back pain or LOC. Pt. also denied hitting her head.  Pt. assessment revealed pt's left leg appears to be 4 inches shorter than her right.  Pt. stated that both of her legs are usually the same length and stated that she had minimal discomfort to her upper left thigh or hip. Pt. initially did not wish to be transported and finally agreed to be treated only after much persuasion. Pt. transported to K.B.R.H. without further incident.

Tell me, who is the sissy?


  1. Sounds like Customer #2 A) Dislocated or B) Broke her hip...
    Customer #1 is the guy we love to let wait for hour in chairs (after we make sure it isn't an MI of course) because if it's not an MI... then well he's looking for insurance $

  2. Capt, I swear you work with me sometimes. Just after clearing a broken finger 911 with plenty of tears from our mid 40s caller, our next run was for a "compound tibia fracture" at a street corner. Our mid 80s pt indeed had a visible deformed ankle and a compound tibia fracture, yet didn't even whince when we splinted and flat out refused pain meds. Her reason, "Someone else needs it more." Greatest generation indeed.

  3. lol....once she attempted to get up from a seated position, you wouldnt have had to convince her to go to the hospital.

    and yes, assclown on the cell phone is the winner.

  4. Dear Captain Schmoe,
    definitely got that. assclown wins. i bet it was a sporty sedan, too. what a stud.
    Ann T.

  5. "Tightening"


    Hilarious. And infuriating. If you'd had to double-transport these on the same bus, I am guessing Pt #2 would have given up the cot, too.