Thursday, November 5, 2009

I Know

I know that you work every second of available overtime, including every major holiday, every special detail and every weekend.

I know that you went on three strike team deployments last year, one of which was  over 24 days long.

I know that your wife is an RN and pulls in 65 grand a year.

I know that you and the RN made a ton of cash flipping houses over the last ten years.

I know that you inherited a couple of rentals and that you kept a couple of houses rather than flipping them. 

I know that your old man was loaded and left you a lake house with that bad-ass ski boat.

I know that the 38 foot diesel pusher motor home and the sand toys help you "get away from it all" over at Pismo beach.

Sal, I know you are one of the hardest working guys around and that you've earned almost everything that you have. But Sal, can you do us a favor? Can you pull that State Firefighter's Association sticker off of the diesel pusher?  And maybe off of the lifted white Hummer with the 22" wheels, you know, the one you use to pull that bad-ass boat around with?

While you're at it, pull off the IAFF stickers too. It's not that I really care whether you have those stickers on your stuff or not, it's just that I'm tired of my neighbor busting my balls over "the rich firemen with the big boats and motor homes".

Ditch the special firefighter license plate on the RN's Escalade too and the "Thank God for Four Days" lettering on the sand toy hauler. It appears that you are gloating.

You see Sal, the unemployment rate is pushing 11% around here. Hell, my wife is down to four days a week. Although I know most of your cash comes from somewhere other than your regular salary, the unemployed aerospace worker stopped behind you at the red light does not. All he sees is the sticker and the license plate. I am getting a little tired of him showing up at the District board meeting bitching about my salary and my pension. I am not real fond of the letters to the editor either.

I love you brother. You have a right to everything that you have. Your toys are a testament to your work ethic and your credit rating. More power to you.

Just pull the stickers.

I don't want people thinking that the Romanos and the Schmoes are in the same tax bracket.

Thanks for reading,


  1. Dear Sal,
    Although I have the highest regard for the good Caption, I suggest that you ignore his request entirely. Anything that diverts attention for us "grossly overpaid" doctors works well for me (self employed, no pension, endless student loans, however, NOT COMPLAINIG, honest). Thanks, and congratulations on your success!
    Best, Edith

  2. We have a very similar situation ourselves; I certainly don't begrudge the individuals their hard work and savings, etc. (it is truly admirable), but it really does make things awkward when the perception is that "we have ours". I happen to drive a 1999 Trooper with 120K plus on it, so I guess I make up for it on the other end of the spectrum.

  3. Mrs. B.
    Don't worry, Sal continually ignores me. I know you are not complaining, but life is all about choices.

    You could have chosen to become an RN and then chosen to marry Sal. You would be driving a new Escalade, summering at a lake house with a bad-ass boat and spending the occasional weekend driving a sand rail on the dunes.

    All of this without any student loans. Plus, after it went bad,you would get half a pension and probalbly a house or two.

    I have seen Sal's garage Mrs. B. No evidence of hoarding there.

    Of course you would rarely see Sal. He is usually at work or is tending to one of the rentals. But that might not be a bad thing.

    Thanks for commenting.

  4. I knew an RN that would work anytime, anywhere. He would take advantage of the intracorp opportunities and work all over the system, many, many hours every week. He would regail us with tales of the land he owned and the money he had. He was single and lived very simply. I wondered what he would truly get out of life and what joy he had. Even if he retired and spent all his money on stuff and rioteous living, would he really be living?

    I guess I reacted this way because I read first about your father-in-law's passing...

    Well, all the work made this RN an excellent IV starter.