Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Procrastination Kills

The Event:  The Saint I Am Married To's 30th high school reunion

The Contest: Who's been married the longest?

The Prize: A large bottle of Costco champagne.

"If you were married in 1984 or before, and are still married" the DJ directed,  "please stand up". My wife and a handful of other people stood up.

"If you were married in 1984 please sit down" the DJ said. Everybody except my wife and a guy named Richard sat down. I liked my our odds, we were married in May, not June. I can almost taste the free champagne.

"If you were married in 1983, please take your seat" My wife sits down, that prick Richard is still standing. It turns out he and his wife were married in 1982, a whole year before The Saint and I.  She gets the second place prize, which is zero, zip, nada.

Dammit. I knew I should have married her sooner, that's what I get for procrastinating.Maybe Richard will get divorced by 2020 and The Saint will win. Of course by then, the prize will be a large bottle of laxative or something of the sort.

Whatever, I am sure we will find a use for it.

Thanks for reading,
A grateful Schmoe

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