Monday, February 28, 2011

"Chief" complaint: Gluteal discomfort

E226 crew arrived on scene to find 50 yr old male, seated at a computer terminal in the office of a fire station. Pt. was conscious, oriented and alert, however appeared to be in a highly agitated emotional state. Pt. was yelling at inanimate objects, waving in the air with both middle fingers extended and vehemently complaining about "a major pain in my ass!"

Due to pt's agitated emotional state, E226 crew opted to stand in the doorway and laugh at the pt, while monitoring pt to ensure he didn't use the office scissors to harm himself. After several minutes or monitoring, pt. calmed down to the point where the crew felt pt. was in a happier place.

E226 crew then returned to watching their movie while pt. returned to complying with the new District Commander's request for yet another B.S. paperwork assignment.

No further action taken by E226 crew.


OK, I exaggerated a little and it's my issue, not the D.C.'s. As useless and inane as I feel this particular form/report is, the reality is that he is the boss and I will get it done. I will also try to limit the entertainment value of my tirades and insulate my crew from my position on the matter. They may, however, be subjected to the occasional burst of profanity from the office. Besides, it could always have been worse, we could have gotten stuck with BC Newby!

I would have written more, but I had to stay up and complete the above mentioned report.

Thanks for reading,


  1. Schmoe, as usual, I enjoy reading. I try not to miss a post. One question I constantly wonder is how you balance your stories with your desire to not openly discuss where exactly you work. Are there members of your department who know about the blog? I like how you are honest (as far as I can tell) and tell it like it is. Any worry that it will backfire?

  2. Joe - The balance is based solely on fear! If it should be discovered, it will be a REAL pain in my backside.

    Only one person from my agency has knowingly read it, sadly he passed away and carried my secret with him to his grave. Someone from my agency visited once (on agency computer!)but they didn't put two and two together. I am luck in that there are hundreds of fire departments / districts within 60 miles of here, most firefighters live in different communities than where they work. I kind of get lost in the shuffle.

    As far as honesty goes, I do temper some things a bit should I get discovered and I keep any details as to pt. identity concealed.

    I hate that part of it, but I have no choice.

    Thanks for the comments.

  3. Cap,
    Been there. And maybe it's just a general fire service thing, but my reports sound just like yours!

    Joe-a little insight as to why the good Cap'n stays anonymous. I don't have my own blog, but I comment and post on several. I've been careful to never mention my Fire Dept or anyone I work with by name, but I was still found on a certain popular fire website.

    My username was relatively anonymous but not so much that they couldn't put 2 and 2 together. Someone at work found it while researching problems we were having with a piece of equipment. I had replied to a post there that training was important when using the XX, and that the major problem at my agency was that some folks were too busy complaining about it to go out and train with it. Even though it was nothing I hadn't said openly, it still caused a big PITA. Some guys went so far as to register for the site so they could search every post I had written there, trying to find something they could use to get me in trouble. There was nothing there, but it led to several confrontations and was a lesson I've taken to heart.

  4. Indeed. Thanks to you both for the replies. As usual Capt, I appreciate your candor. In this day and age, none of us are safe regardless of how anonymous we try to be (clearly, I gave up a while ago).