Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Calls - A work of fiction (final installment)

Telephone conversation #1

"Metro fire, Chief Boxer"

"Hello Chief, this is Cal Worthington. I'm a captain with the Beach City police department. How are you today?"

"I'm fine thanks. Call me Dave, please. How may I help you today?"

"Well, Dave, do you have a firefighter named Thadeus Mitchell who works for you?"

"The name sounds familiar, give me a second while I check. Ah yes here we go. He works for us as a firefighter/paramedic. Looks like he's been here about eleven months, which means he is still on probation. Why do you ask?"

"It seems that Mr. Mitchell was involved in an incident down here in Beach City over the weekend. He wasn't arrested, but he probably should have been. One of our officers cut Mitchell a break and didn't take him, now the other party is making that an issue with us. I think that there is a possibility it will be an issue with you."

"What exactly happened?"

"Mitchell, his wife and another woman were drinking at a bar down here named Barracuda's. Apparently Mitchell and his wife started arguing, loud enough that other people started to notice. A male sitting at another table said something to Mitchell's wife, she went off on him. One thing led to another and it progressed to Mitchell and the other guy rolling around on the floor. We had an officer who happened to be riding a segway past the front of the place and heard them going at it. He goes in and pulls them apart before anybody gets hurt."

"Who appears to be the aggressor in this?"

'Well at that point, it was hard to tell. All of the people involved had been hitting it pretty hard, so neither side was thinking clearly. The officer was just trying to get everybody cooled down and out of there. The other party had been convinced to leave first and was walking toward the door when Mitchell rushed at him from behind and swung at him with a chair. Fortunately, the officer got to Mitchell just as he swung the chair, so he missed."

"You're kidding! How is it that he wasn't arrested?

"The officer told us that after the chair was swung, he hooked Mitchell up and let the other guy go. After the other party left, the officer decided as the chair never hit anyone, he would give Mitchell a little love and show him some professional courtesy. The cocktail waitress knew the other guy and told him that Mitchell wasn't arrested. He's threatening to go to the paper if we don't do anything. With the way things are right now, I can't guarantee this will go away. Needless to say, we are reviewing our own policies, some disciplinary measures may be coming down. I just thought I'd give you the heads up."

"Well I appreciate the call. I will probably have someone from our admin/personnel division getting in touch with you. Good luck on your end."

"Thanks, take care."

Telephone Conversation #2

"Metro fire, Chief Boxer."

"Hi Dave, its Tony over at HR."

"Hey Tony, whats up?"

"I spoke with the City Attorney again, he talked with the City Manager. We all agree that to keep Mitchell in our employ would be a higher level of risk than we would like to accept. Unless this guy is a superstar or you can come up with an outstanding reason why we should keep him, we need to let him go."

"Yeah, I agree. Can you shoot me an e-mail?"

"Sure thing. When do you think this will take place? We'd like it done as soon as possible."

"I'll have the paperwork started today soo it'll probably be Monday morning."

"That'll work, Thanks"

Telephone Conversation #3

"Station 22, Hardy speaking."

"Hello Bob it's Dick Bong. How are you today?"

 "Hey Chief, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks. I know it's early, but something's come up. Your B.C. and I need to meet with you first thing this morning, probably right about eight - eight thirty. Is this going to be a problem?

"No chief, it should be OK. Can I ask what this is about?"

"I really rather not discuss it until we meet. I'll see you in a bit. Thanks"

"All right, see you later."


  1. Dear Captain Schmoe,
    You are a devious writer. Here I am buying into the rumor about Burning Man in 3rd installment when I don't know anything. If that's not a comment on gossip I don't know what is.

    So now I have slipped down that slope it only remains for me to say, as a true gossip, that:

    "I always knew there was something about him."

    "Do you remember how he slammed his locker? Dude has a problem w/ anger management." and

    "I heard that chair broke into splinters. Noo, I never believed that Burning Man shit. It wasn't me. Although, maybe that's why his wife was mad . . . "

    Yeah, I have learned my lesson! Uncertainty creates gossip, and gossip has a life of its own!

    Great fiction, as true as fact!
    Ann T.

  2. Cal Worthington? I have not heard of him for years. How is his dog, Spot?

  3. The take home message here: NOTHING good can come of Segway use. If the officer would have been walking, the wife would have broken it up by the time to po po got there.
    next installment, please.