Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Stop the Carnage

Winter has finally struck the Land Of The Dirt People and frankly, we desert dwellers are totally unprepared for it. It has been cloudy and rainy for the last few days, with a trail of moisture streaming in off of the ocean. Proactive agencies have activated their Emergency Operations Centers to deal with the looming crises as the gutters actually contain water and the auto body repair shops begin to become saturated with business.

We received almost 1/2 of an inch of rain yesterday, throwing the streets and highways into s state of chaos. Accident rates are triple of when the streets are dry. Many law enforcement agencies are advising victims of non-injury traffic accidents to exchange information then report the accident to the DMV rather than waiting at the scene for an officer.

Temperatures never rose above the low 60's and the sun never broke through the clouds. Umbrellas, usually sitting on store shelves gathering dust, are now prominently displayed on tables near the front door and are selling briskly.

The homeless are taking a hit. Many make gullies and washes their encampments, not a wise choice when several inches of water begin flowing through them.

Through it all, empty headed reporters bravely stand next to damp streets and flowing gutters while keeping us appraised of "STORM WATCH 2010!"

Personally, it hasn't affected me much. I'm on vacation and have not had to deal with the multitude of accident related sore necks and backs.  I know most of the secret routes to avoid the snarled traffic and am able to shop early to avoid crowds.

I do have to slow down a bit, the characteristics of my beloved jeep which make it ideal for sand and rock make it a little sqiurrelly on wet pavement. I definitely don't want to ding it up.

We will prevail through this climate induced crisis. Despite our inability to slow down and leave enough space between vehicles, our insistence on driving through flooded areas and the shortage of blue tarps - we will emerge victorious. Even though we are wussies and can't drive.

Thanks for reading,
a damp Schmoe 


  1. My desert will be feeling your desert's weather later today. Whether it's rain, culture, or people, we always get California's leftovers.

  2. Maybe your desert can stand a few more stoopid drivers? We have plenty of leftovers.

  3. Send your leftovers to Detroit. The population has been falling for the past ten years and body shops are feeling the pinch. I'm postulating that anyone who can't drive on a wet street will fail an ice test as well.

  4. Send all you want. What are the odds they'll make it here alive?

  5. Mad Jack - Not a bad idea, though I hear that most of the body shops have changed their business plans to become chop shops. That's just what I hear.

    Wayne Conrad - Prolly not good. Remember California is a "nanny state". Migration might require guides, logistical support and self esteem counselors. I'm all for them trying though.