Monday, March 14, 2011


...welcome to the healing place. I am Captain Schmoe and as I am the only person on duty today who owns a decent camera, I have been asked to take your Rookie Class Photograph. Please ensure that your station uniform is properly aligned ,  remove all objects from your shirt pockets and line up as I previously instructed you. This photo, as well as the individual shot that I took of you earlier will be published in the union newspaper.

That's it, good shot. Wow, recruit Adolescent, that's quite a blemish on your chin!

Ya know recruit Adolescent, you seem like a nice kid. Since you busted your ass off in the academy and finished in the top three, I'm gonna do you a favor.  I'm gonna take care of it for you. Besides, we can't have mommy seeing her boy with that blemish on his chin when she sees the paper can we?

There we go. Nice job if I do say so myself. It's a good thing you didn't turn out to be a jerk. Then your portrait would have come out like this:

What did we learn today Recruit Adolescent? Thaaats right, ya don't wanna piss off the photographer.

Thanks for reading,
A just and merciful Schmoe

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