Sunday, March 27, 2011

Morning Solitude

It is 0830, I am sitting in the office of the healing place, enjoying a nice cup of custom brewed coffee. It is a gray, rainy morning and I am glad to be inside sitting at my desk, rather than working a crash on the highway.

Technically, I am off duty and have been so for the last half hour. The on duty crew had a public relations assignment and left the station five minutes after shift change, so I have this lovely station all to myself. I am under no obligation to answer the door, answer the phone or do anything other than enjoy my coffee. The solitude allows me time to reflect on my job, my past and my future.

I have a million things to do at home and my remaining here is a form of procrastination. A looming tax appointment, several photo projects and a filthy, loaded jeep will keep me busy for the next couple of days. I am writing this here, because I know that once I get home, I won't get the opportunity to post until late tonight. I have found that my ability to write late at night is waning and should be avoided.

As I write this, I have resigned myself to the fact that the time for me to change careers is rapidly approaching if not already here. When doing a risk/benefit analysis, it is apparent that staying for an additional year does not pencil out for me. As a result, I will be out of here toward the end of the year.

My game is one best played by youth. Although I work at a relatively slow station, I have had some of my most challenging incidents while rolling out of here. Challenges I once welcomed, I now am wary of and do not wish to experience again. In short, I just don't want to play any more and I want to take my toys and go home.

I wish I was one of those guys who want to stay and slay dragons until I am 65 years old. I am not one of those guys and I don't want to be one of those other guys who stick around long after they should have left. When the K.B.F.P.D. stops getting their money's worth out of me, it's time.

Funny how silence and solitude makes you think. Maybe I shouldn't be left alone.

Thanks for reading,
A pensive Schmoe


  1. Good luck working on your game plan. At least you are smart enough to recognize the signs and have the time to plan. Who wouldn't want to go and play with their toys and have fun. I too am in the same muck as you are and considering a radical change in life.

  2. Agree, burnout is a b**** and is no good for you or the KBFPD. Only the smart ones know when to leave.