An AARP membership card was enclosed.
What the hell? Is this some kind of sick joke? I mean, my kids think I'm old, but I won't qualify for the Senior Club card at Hometown Buffet for another eleven years. I still have all of my teeth (well, except for that one I lost at O'Malley's) and most of my hair. Not any gray either (beards don't count).
The American Association of Retired People didn't get their money's worth when they bought my address from whomever. I'm just not that old.
It's bad enough that my e-mail in box is full of viagra spam. Now I gotta put up with this crap in my mail box too.
After scanning it, I tossed it. I don't want to be reminded that I am not thirty any more.
Thanks for reading,
An indignant Schmoe
Dear Captain Schmoe,
ReplyDeleteThese people are heinous. They are all out to take the last blood out of us and transfuse some fluid that causes sagging, worry, and wrinkles. The next thing you know, I'll be wearing tan support shoes instead of the spikes I've got my heart set on.
I tossed mine too. I want my membership to the Hot Stuff Association of America.
Mrrrrrrow,
Ann T.
lol, I havent gotten one yet. TEEHEE!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat it, Captain. I got one when I turned 50, and I felt the same way you did. Till I remembered all the places that offer AARP discounts (a few places will even combine an AARP discount with the AAA discount).
ReplyDeletePretty soon, those punk-ass kids behind the registers will start giving you senior discounts just on the basis of appearance.
"Age and treachery will overcome youth and enthusiasm every time."
Capt. Schmoe:
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting for mine owing as I'll turn a-hem 5-0 this year.
No, they don't get my money. Mainly, because politically, they and I don't agree on too much.
@Ann T: RAOFLMAO!
They put Viagra in Spam?
ReplyDeleteCool.
AnnT - I'm sure your hotstuff membership card is in the mail, though I am sure they will want a fee before they activate it.
ReplyDeletePeeDee - Your time is coming girl!
Mr. 618 - When O'Malleys accepts the AARP card for the Sr. Discount, I'll consider keeping the card. Till then, fuhgeddaboutit.
Observer - When you do get it, look at it and savor the moment. Then toss it.
Michael - I thought it tasted funny. I noticed the Saint has been making Spam omelets for me a lot lately. Now I know why.
Thanks folks.